Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Kent's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Monday, November 9th, 2009
12:30 am	Time for rants. I'd like to first and foremost congratulate Jon and Kate on the birth of their daughter. Y'all will make an excellent and very unique family. Having said that, I see this entry spiraling downward into negativity. The farther I go, the more negative it will become, but I've not posted with such a demeanor in a while. My journal is not living up to the name "soangsty!" Anyway, first things first. The majority of my move is complete. Some of the larger stuff is left behind for now, but I will acquire it when I absolutely have to. I've a very big television set to get, a gigantic desk to disassemble, some books, booze, and kitchen utilities to pack, and that's really about it. I was hoping it would not have to come down to me living with a friend, but as I've said before, I'm happy I have people who are willing and able to take me in temporarily while I seek full-time employment. Others, such as my brother, are not so fortunate. Unfortunately for me, he is my burden and I must do everything in my power to ensure he gets up on his feet. Onto my first rant. I've four weeks of school left, or so I hope. My GPA stands between 3.3 and 3.4. It's not amazing, but it's pretty good. Unfortunately for me, I have a class this semester that I'm doing exceptionally poorly in. The name of the class is Small Business Management, and it is basically a review of all the other crap I've been taught throughout my time at Robert Morris University. The class itself is a breeze. There is no difficult material whatsoever, and I scored a 92% on my mid-term. Unfortunately, my overall grade in the class stands at 43%. I am getting an F, and QUITE the F at that. And that's fucking irritating. There are several reasons for the grade I'm getting, and all of them are complete bullshit in my eyes. First and foremost, I'd like to say that my mid-term grade demonstrates my knowledge of the material. I should therefore be getting a decent grade. Unfortunately, this class is structured around two things: Homework, and online quizzes. Unfortunately for me, I forget to do the online quizzes every time. Unfortunately for me, the teacher does not accept late homework. Unfortunately for me, the quizzes, for no logical reason whatsoever, are due on Saturday at 6PM. I forget to do them every single time because I'm trying to enjoy the weekend that I earned. Unfortunately for me, I missed one class. For every class missed, the teacher deducts FIFTY FUCKING POINTS from your grade. You are allowed to make it up, but you had better have a three page paper on the chapter you missed by the very next class period. If you do not, your points are forfeit. So I'm failing a class whose material I run circles around. And it's stupid. Now, those of you with sticks up your asses will tell me it's my own fault. You'll tell me I should be organized, keep a planner, and do my shit before it's due, and that's how the world works. To those of you who think that, no. You're the type of person that's used to jumping through hoops for people. In fact, jumping through hoops is probably what you're best at. Knowing anything means nothing. You are rewarded for running on the wheel like all the rest of the hamsters, regardless of how well you do it. And that is the way it is, but it shouldn't be. I'm mostly annoyed by the quizzes with the Saturday deadline. The deadline is pointless, makes no sense, and is founded upon nothing. It exists solely to screw people with a predisposition towards being unorganized. And I can't stand shit like that. Okay, that's enough with that rant. Onto the next. I've worked at UPS for seven years now. Many of my entries in this journal have revolved around the company. I have spoke of it both positively and negatively, but mostly negatively. There was a small period of time in which I hoped for a promotion, but that promotion never came. Unfortunately, this rant will be yet another negative one about the company, but it will consist of an analysis of the direction in which the company is headed rather than me bitching about some specific occurrence. My morale at UPS was at its highest in October of 2003. Having just been promoted to part-time supervisor at the age of 19, my $1,200 a month (net) checks were more than I knew what to do with at the time. The thought of making $300 a week was amazing, and I loved that UPS gave me such a sum of money for being a supervisor. It was more than double what I made a week as a bagger. What's more, in 2004 the company gave me an extra $50 a month in my check for not using all of my health benefits. It was extra money for me, and for it I was grateful. Further still, the company gave supervisors a bonus every month depending on how well their areas performed. It could be anywhere from nothing to $400. It was a decent supplement to our pay. The first blow to my morale came when I received my first raise. Unfortunately for me, my three month raise came at the same time as my yearly raise. My manager decided to halve both. I got $40 a month total when they should have been $40 a month each. He justified it by saying that I was too new to have made any measurable contributions. The second blow to my morale came very shortly thereafter when the same manager told me I would not get into the technical service department despite my long-term goal of doing so and my intent to finish college with a computer science major. However, this rant isn't necessarily about me. It is about how the quality of employment at UPS has deteriorated exponentially ever since I started working there. I learned this past Friday that UPS did not become a publicly traded company until 1999. This epiphany made a lot of things make sense. Things such as the systematic reduction of health benefits, year after year. Things like the restructuring of supervisor pay raises to a percentage rather than a flat rate. Things like the firing of 25 full-time supervisors in 2006. All of these things suddenly made a lot more sense. The quality of employment at UPS has indeed degraded substantially over the years, but it was not until recently that the company proved just how evil it could be. In light of the recession, UPS decided to make all sorts of "changes" to make itself more "competitive." It wanted to be a "leaner" company coming out of the recession. Therefore, full-time management pay raises were frozen. The 401k match was eliminated. Gainshare/Performance bonus was eliminated. The education assistance program was tweaked to create a plethora of pitfalls which would allow payment to schools to be denied. Discretionary days taken by supervisors no longer count toward their hours worked. Overtime no longer exists, and if an employee receives it, write-ups are in order if the employee's bosses are lucky, worse if not. The CEO gave himself a $2,500,000 raise, and finally, the tradition of distributing turkeys to every employee was halted. Originally, UPS gave each of its employees a $20 piece of gold. This was back in the 1910s and 1920s when $20 could buy somebody much more than it could today. Predictably, the tradition of giving gold out could not be sustained, so gold pieces were replaced with turkeys. During 1937-1945, UPS did not distribute turkeys to its employees due to the world war and also due to the depression. During this time, UPS's founder, Jim Casey, voiced his opinion, which I will paraphrase. "I believe that turkey distribution should not cease. Whatever the cost is, we should pay it. It is important to show that we feel truly connected to our employees." And at the word of a board member, the tradition that the company's founder strongly supported, has been ended. I suppose my point is that public ownership of companies makes them evil. I don't know. I've written too much and I've only scratched the surface of why UPS disgusts me. What a worthless company. What's worse is their recent political activity and their decision to show employees propaganda about finding sales, lest their jobs be lost. Absolutely disgusting. All in the name of making shareholders even wealthier. I think the public exchange needs to be revamped. We should not bow to those we cannot see. Ugh, idk... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 26th, 2009
1:10 am	IDIOTS! What happens when you legally purchase a Microsoft OS? They provide you with a link to download the software. It tries to extract, and it fails. Windows 7 failed me before I even got to the installation... Now I thought that perhaps the download corrupted, so I re-downloaded all 3 gigs of it. The same shit happened, again. "WINDOWS CANNOT CREATE NEW FOLDERS IN THIS FILE!" Bullshit! You extracted all sorts of files successfully. I just don't get it. Can't Microsoft do ANYTHING right? Unbelievable... *EDIT* It would appear that the default file from Microsoft assumes I have a 64 bit OS, such as Vista, and is therefore incompatible with Windows XP Pro. I think that's pretty lame, but it's not completely terrible. The company just seems unable to acknowledge the fact that not everyone has Vista. ;( In any case, I need to await the DVD they've shipped me before I can install a full 64-bit OS. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 7th, 2009
11:49 pm	What a lucky guy... ( Entire entry cut for your convenience. Warning: Long post with large pics. Recommended screen resolution: 1280x1024 or greater. ) Current Mood: happy (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 2nd, 2009
11:03 am	YES!!! No olympics in Chicago! What a relief... (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 28th, 2009
1:08 pm	Ah, the changes... Summer truly is over. The extended forecast does not see a day ahead in which the temperatures are above seventy degrees. Yesterday might be the last one of those we see for a while yet. I do believe more will come, however it is absolute certainty that days as pleasant as that are dwindling. Soon the cold, torturous season that is winter will be upon us, and everyone seems to agree that this winter will be a harsh one due to the mildness of the summer that just left us. Thank goodness I have my snow tires. I suppose summer's weather did end at a very proper point. Throughout the weekend my family conducted what was to be our one and only yard sale, ever. It actually went down very well, and we ended up selling a great many things. In my eyes a good deal of what we were selling was a part of our past. We were selling physical pieces of our life here which we could not take with us to our new abodes. Selling such things is bittersweet, because that which sold is gone from our lives forever, but will live on in the lives of its new owners. We even sold our dining room table, which we sat and ate at for years and years. . Parting with things such as the dining room table, the living room furniture, and even the alienware has only served to remind me of how close the end of my residence here really is. With the table's sale, the house becomes a little less comfortable; a little less habitable. All of the packing we're doing and all of the boxes lying around only decrease habitability further. The storm has arrived.. Next Friday (not this coming one) I will be helping pack all of my parents' worldly possessions into a truck. Then on Saturday I'll be delivering said possessions to their new residence in Gary, West Virginia. I will be packing up and leaving for my new temporary residence shortly thereafter. And even in its magnitude, that isn't the only change which has been occurring. I've finished the most difficult quarter of school. Thanks to being on disability for most of it, it wasn't that difficult at all. Management 450 was a bit of a breeze. True to my nature, I spent almost no time studying for the tests and pwned them all. I got high C's to low B's on the hardest baccalaureate level tests the university had to offer, without studying. On the comprehensive bachelor's degree test I got an 84%, and even managed to get 100% on the math section somehow. True to my nature, all of my work for the over-hyped management 450 project was done the night before its due date (each part of said project had a different due date). I ended up getting the the highest project grade of anybody in my group. My final quarter starts today. I'm going to slack like I've never slacked before. It's already over in my mind. Going to school is a motion I go through in order to be granted the piece of paper I've earned. The piece of paper which will hopefully grant me an income I can live off of. Yet, even more change is afoot. As of June 20th I was single. Breaking up with Danielle was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do, yet it turned out to be the right decision to make. Her many neuroses combined with my inability to show any type of affection led to bad circumstances. Also, leaving her allowed me to open my eyes and see the rationale behind others' attitudes towards her. What's more, knowing her so closely allowed me to pinpoint the exact mechanisms and motives behind the behaviors others didn't like. Rebuking her for it only caused her to ignore me from that point on. I have since moved on, and I seriously and sincerely wish Danielle the very best. I have recently found someone who appears to be a much closer match to my personality than Danielle was, and I am happy with how things on that front have turned out. My trip to Virginia also signified plentiful change. It was the first time I ventured anywhere significant alone. While I am introverted, I have a very difficult time going out on my own. I honestly think company enhances the experience, and am usually at a loss for things to do. Traveling alone allowed me to gain a capacity to do so which did not exist prior. I did end up meeting with Sarah along the way, and do not regret doing so at all. Even after I move, even more drastic changes will come. After I'm done with school, I will have two jobs. One will be UPS, and the other will be searching for a real job. If I have failed to find a job by the time school ends, I will be looking at prospects on the east coast. The time is no longer approaching. It's here. While I loathe the colder weather, I embrace all of the other change around me. The time is coming for me to stand on my own two feet. It's about time, isn't it? (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 19th, 2009
10:29 pm	You betta bring it! Today is Talk like a pirate day, so happy talk like a pirate day! I only wish there were some sort of pirate party I could go to, what with my peg leg and whatn't. o well. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, September 14th, 2009
9:55 pm	LOL at celebrity deaths and those who are offended at my opinions of them :D So in the span of ten minutes, my brother and mother had informed me of Patrick Swayze's death, and just about everyone on facebook had varying degrees of input on the subject, from a respectable "RIP Patrick Swayze," to a completely idiotic "OMG He's dead I'm so sad!" I decided to make a point and I did so in the same way I always do, by saying something extremely controversial. My status update was as follows: "Non-famous people die all the time and nobody cares. Screw Patrick Swayze." Unsurprisingly, I upset a few people who accused me of being heartless. Now don't get me wrong, I am not GLAD he died, and I didn't WISH for his death. I simply don't give a shit, and I believe that any other person who did not know Swayze should also not give a shit. Wishing he rest in peace is one thing. Being upset is another. I believe our society wastes MUCH too much time with famous people. We're preoccupied with everything they are and everything they do. We, for reasons beyond my comprehension, allow our emotions to be tied to these icons that do not even know we exist. And it disgusts me! So anyway, people accused me of being heartless and lacking compassion, saying I should feel for Swayze's family and friends. I do, to a degree, but my sympathies are much more easily gained by the families of soldiers who needlessly died in wars, or by the families of great scientists and leaders who gave their lives to better society and mankind. Do something substantial and I will mourn your death. Then they mentioned how Swayze created funding and awareness for, and I quote, "His disease." A quick glance at wikipedia told me he had pancreatic cancer. If I'm not mistaken, we were well aware of cancer before he got it. Furthermore, if he started creating awareness after he got it, then he did so solely for selfish reasons, and is therefore an ass. If he were funding the fight against cancer before it plagued him then this would be a different story, but in the end he's just another Christopher Reeves. Y'know, I'd do the same thing if I were rich, but strangers shouldn't be mourning my death the day it comes! So in conclusion, there are people in each of our lives that have a better claim to our thoughts than this random famous guy. Yeah, Road House was awesome, but our loved ones, those who support us and carry us through our daily struggles, deserve our sympathies much, much more. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 7th, 2009
4:53 pm	Labor Dabor Here it is, the unofficial end of summer. While summer doesn't technically end until fifteen days from now, the weather we've been experiencing insists that fall has arrived and that winter is going to be torturous. Nevertheless, I find myself in a position of gratitude. I am thankful for having been able to enjoy a good deal of the season away from work. It has been a beautiful season, and I've been able to sit back and enjoy it as my foot recovers... One month from Saturday I will be helping my parents move to West Virginia, and I myself will be moving. I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on the future. I'm grateful for the friends I have and for their families who are willing to take me in. I want to get out on my own and stand on my own two feet, and I'm sure I soon will, but given the economic conditions we're experiencing, I must exercise patience. My time will come. It always does. Memories of my July vacation constantly remind me of possibilities that could exist elsewhere. Indeed, places like Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Virginia itself struck me as beautiful, and the job prospects in at least one of those three places are much greater than those of Chicago. I miss the ocean greatly and wish to see it again. I miss everything about that trip. I miss the lands I drove through. If by the time I've graduated I've not found employment locally, I may look eastward for opportunity. If I were offered an interview then perhaps my uncle who lives in that direction would be willing to house me for a day or so. I don't know, though. To leave behind the life I have out here would be difficult, no matter how badly I hate Chicago. I can't wait until my foot is fully functional again. I've felt myself gaining weight partly due to my physical limitations and partly due to my dietary choices given said limitations. I cannot wait until I am fully recovered so I may remedy the changes that have taken place. Even before then I hope to take my bicycle for a spin on the trail several more times. And so here I sit, outside on the thinkpad, with little else to say. Summer is coming to an end and with it ends an era. I watch the changes going on not only in my life, but also in the lives of my friends, just as I watch the sun set sooner each and every day. Some of trees are even starting to show their fall colors. While I will miss both the summer and the past, another summer will come. So will new opportunities and more bright, happy days. Current Mood: calm (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 29th, 2009
1:13 am	October 12th That's the day everything changes. The past is over and gone forever. In other news, the chills have returned. Edit: As the storm comes ever closer, its gusting winds catch me off guard, nearly causing me to fall on my ass. Its clouds block out what was the sunlight. I can see the torrential downpour in the distance. Even though it hasn't arrived, it's here. It's going to wipe out everything up until this point. Something akin to dread creeps up as foundations come undone around me. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 13th, 2009
11:06 pm	Storm's a brewin'. Some of the most calamitous change that will have occurred in my whole life is about two months away. I stand at a distance, witnessing the tumult created by the storm from from afar, but am hardly phased by it as it rapidly approaches. Metacognition tells me to be worried about the fact that I am not worried. It might all hit me at once. I'm just the calm and collected type, though. Somebody complimented me at one point saying I was the most level-headed person they knew. Nevertheless, it's coming. Rapidly. The house I've lived in for 18 years will soon be in my past. The parents I've lived with my whole life will soon be in distant lands. I will soon be alone. I'm hoping my job search bears fruit soon. I need it to. The tempest approaches... Current Mood: Quiet (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 6th, 2009
3:52 pm	A rant. I've found the success of the "cash for clunkers" program quite amusing. While I'm not a fan of how the program was limited only to clunkers whose gas mileage was terrible, I think the program did a great job of reflecting what consumers in America need. For those of you who don't know, the program was given $1 billion of funding. You were given between $3,500 and $4,500 for the clunker you traded in for a brand new car. The funding for the program dried up in a single week. It is clear that the cash for clunkers program was a great success, and hopefully it will get more funding, however I think many people are missing the point. The success of the cash for clunkers program directly reflects the failure of our government in dealing with the economic crisis. We have seen trillions of dollars being pumped into institutions that deserved, that NEEDED to die, with the end consumer gaining absolutely nothing from it. Despite the bailouts, interest rates soared, and customers were stuck with the debt they owed to these institutions that made bad choices. The bailouts did nothing for the economy. Institutions with terrible, greedy management were allowed to live, when they should have died. If it's not clear yet, here's what I'm getting at. Our government threw that money away. The cash for clunkers program showed just how badly the consumers of America, those on the bottom rungs, needed that money, compared to the leaders of large banks. My point is that if the initial $800 Billion bailout were put towards mortgages, towards student loans, and towards credit card debt held by consumers, that the effects would have been immense. Our economy might still be in bad shape, but I am certain it would be in much, MUCH better shape than it is presently in. If people were granted freedom from their debt, many people might make the same mistake twice and fall back into the hole they got dug out of, but many others would realize just how close to the brink they really were, and from them a much stronger economy would be born. People would relish the blessing they were given and begin saving again. People would be able to make the purchases that fuel our GDP, but also be able to do so within their means because their hands and lives aren't tied up in debt. Even if bailing out america's consumers, instead of its creditors, didn't create jobs, we should consider the fact that many students with bachelors degrees would be free of debt. They'd be able to find jobs as they became available without having to worry about being crushed by the student loans they accrued in an attempt to create a brighter future for themselves. People could keep their houses. The layoffs they suffered would be of much smaller consequence. Many, many fewer people would be facing ruin. The bailouts created under the Bush administration were designed to help those who Bush served: the corporate interests. If the government should be bailing anybody out, it should be the people. If it were the people that the government originally focused on, then our economy would be much stronger right now. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 25th, 2009
3:01 am	Revelations without the black holes. I have no clue even how to begin this entry. I've been sitting here for at least a minute thinking of a proper introduction with nothing coming to mind. Perhaps that in and of itself is the proper introduction. To summarize my vacation, I am speechless. In fact, I spent practically this entire week looking at the clock and reminiscing about exactly what I was doing at this moment in time one week prior. I could not have asked for a more therapeutic and cathartic solution to those stresses which plagued me... *** Virginia beach, and all the activities I partook in, were absolutely amazing. I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of my time there. I'll quickly detail what went down in a vague manner. I arrived at Monday at 1:30PM our time, 2:30 Eastern. Henceforth, all times will be in eastern. I was extremely exhausted because the budget motel I rented made all sorts of noises which I had a hard time getting used to and therefore didn't sleep well. Despite checking into my hotel and spending time at the beach, I found myself jittery and feeling mixed emotions. I was particularly raged after having broken my swimming trunks, but that problem was easily remedied. I went to bed very early Monday and slept 'till about 9:30 Tuesday morning. I hung around the hotel for a bit and decided it was high time to try some awesome seafood. I went to a place nearby which provided AMAZING Tuna bites seasoned with lemon pepper, and had a tilapia fillet as my main course. As I drank my rum &/or coke and ate my fish I finally FELT like I was on vacation. Throughout the rest of the day I was at the beach swimming, laying on my towel after being completely exhausted from swimming, taking pictures, and eventually doing astronomy. After having returned to the hotel I researched tourist attractions and chose to go dolphin watching and to visit the aquarium/aviary/preserve. I WANTED to go parasailing, however reservations were needed quite a bit in advance. So Wednesday was spent mostly having fun with the aforementioned. I visited a fancy seafood bistro after the aquarium where I partook in crocodile tail and had an amazing tuna steak on top of some potato dish. I washed it down with a key lime pie martini and all was well. After that I went dolphin watching and after that I got ice cream and enjoyed the nighttime sands once more. I wanted to spend yet another night however it was impossible because other reservations obviously took precedence. So on Thursday I bid a prolonged farewell to the beach, and there were even dolphins saying goodbye to me from several hundred feet away as I walked across the sand. What was really awesome was that I found a very quiet and not overpopulated section of beach at this point. I bathed in the sea one last time and head out, going to one more motel before finally coming home. *** The vacation was excellent. It made me realize that I'm much more of a free spirit than I give myself credit for. It made me realize that I like to be completely and utterly free. Free of obligation, free of worry, free to do as I please. Unfortunately, the extent of the freedom I desire is not quite attainable due to life's obligations, but my reaction to the taste of said freedom will certainly serve as a guide when I make future decisions. Up until recently I have to say I was somewhat confused about exactly what would result in my own happiness, but now I think I have a much clearer understanding. Furthermore, if I haven't found a job by the time I've graduated, I may start looking for employment more towards the east coast... I don't know though. My friends are all here in this shit hole, and while I absolutely loved the atmosphere down there, I'm certain I'd be pretty lonely pretty quick. We'll see. And finally, I've been sleeping like a baby every single night. All of the stresses that plagued me before this trip were completely vanquished. I returned fully recharged, feeling ready to take on the world. Indeed, this feeling could not have come at a better time as I am enrolled in what is Robert Morris's most difficult class. I am ready. I'm applying for jobs, I'm going to kick school's ass, and I feel great. Oh, also, I see myself going places more frequently on my vacations now. I've begun to see why going places is so popular with others. PS: Sorry for waiting so long to post. I had to live, and then re-live, everything that happened. PPS: I've more videos to upload and will probably put them up at random points. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 12th, 2009
4:04 pm	Here goes nothing... You all know the time, as it's posted. Everything's set to go. I will be on my own, alone, at Virginia Beach by this time tomorrow. I'm going to post videos to youtube, but they're not going to be blogs. Just random stuff. http://www.youtube.com/kenterton if you're interested in subscribing or seeing them. See y'all later. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 7th, 2009
12:06 pm	Today is a good day After six hours of the best sleep I've had in what seems like months, I awoke this morning fresh and full of energy. I went to school, took my finance final, which happened to be pretty difficult, and got some stuff done. I don't have to worry about school again 'till July 20th. The weather's great, people are out on their motorcycles, and things are just nice... The 12 page paper I wrote over 4 hours? 97/100, giving me an A in international marketing. The only annoying thing about today is that I learned that I somehow spent $40 in text messages last month (before having acquired the $5 plan). That's a ripoff, but whatever. Other people have dealt with much, much worse. My vacation rapidly approaches. My sabbatical begins soon. I am excited. Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
Monday, July 6th, 2009
11:53 am	I'm doing it. After I've fulfilled all other obligations, I am going, by myself, eastward until I run into ocean. During this time I intend to be completely unreachable. I don't know exactly when I'll leave, how long it'll take me to get there, or when I'm coming back. All I know is that I'm staying until I am satisfied. I intend to do some oceanside astronomy and am considering purchasing a refractor telescope due to portability and lack of need to collimate. I need to change Piggy's oil and add some coolant. Other than that, it's all up in the air... The way it should be, 'cause it's all about me. I'll try and keep a nice photographic record of what goes on for when I return. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 5th, 2009
3:20 am	This insomnia is maddening... I'm presently experiencing the worst insomnia of my life. It's been going on for over a month now. During Saturday morning I was laying in bed for many hours, completely unable to fall asleep 'till after 7AM. I woke up, unable to sleep any longer, at 11:30AM. One would think such a lack would make me very tired and cause sleep to come easily the next night, yet I've been trying to sleep for a while now with no luck whatsoever. This is profoundly annoying as I am a man who enjoys his fucking sleep. On the subject of the sunglasses, I've decided to forgive myself. I'm doing so because they were a gift, and the person giving the gift was duly warned that I do a very bad job of holding on to things. Therefore, I should stop feeling guilty as it is in my disorganized nature to lose things, period. The same goes for the star sapphire ring. Dad presented me with said ring long before I was able to comprehend the importance of its safe keeping. While it sucks that I lost it, I was merely a child. Therefore, I forgive myself. To give me nice things is to do so at your own peril. I cannot and inevitably will not be held responsible for their loss. It's good to know too, 'cause I genuinely don't feel bad about it anymore. And I don't need forgiveness from anybody but myself. Back to the insomnia... It's pretty darn bad. Rather than combating it with the use of habit forming chemicals(nyquil, alcohol) I'm going to start going to the gym on a regular basis again and working myself out thoroughly. I've been becoming a fatty, especially as of late, and while I had spurts of awesome gym attendance in months past, I need to get back into the groove I was in during 2006 so I may be truly buff again. I'm hoping my demeanor as of late has stifled dopamine production in my brain and I just need a more active lifestyle in order to combat it and restore homeostasis. I had better see results quickly, though. If I am working out I'll need ample sleep for muscular repair to take place. I'd only last a few days before getting sick if the gym solution didn't work. If this plan fails I may schedule an appointment with my doctor. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 4th, 2009
3:00 pm	Time Travel No, this isn't an entry about science and theory, sorry... I just wanted to state that I just traveled back in time. I went back several years and witnessed my younger self. I didn't go back very far, only to about January of 2006. It was bittersweet, to say the least. Alas, the past is inconsequential. I am older now. Life is more serious now. There's so much going on in the present... Those who hold the keys are taking a journey to view their prospects. The time is very rapidly approaching. Very rapidly indeed. Hopefully I'll have a great job when the time inevitably comes. That way I can at least be comfortably on my own, by myself... (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
2:54 pm	I'm burnt out This quarter needs to end. Sleep is lacking. Morale is lacking. Mental health... Is definitely lacking. Vacation is less than two weeks away. I eagerly await its arrival and am considering taking some sort of sabbatical during the week. While the end is nearing and the worst is definitely behind me in terms of school, I find aforementioned mental health deeply affected by my lack of sleep, school, and the crushing weight of my own bad decisions. I think some time away from anything and everything I know, even if it's a day or two, will be cathartic and therapeutic. On the topic of my mental health, I really, really, really want to bash the ever loving shit out of some inanimate objects. I need that wild release that I've not had in years. I just want to keep bashing the crap out of a television, monitor, computer, etc. until I can no longer do so due to my entirely depleted energy reserves. Ohh, that would be cathartic. That is all, I suppose. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 29th, 2009
2:09 pm	Reversal? The fact that I can give good advice to others yet never make good decisions myself has always fascinated me. Current Music: Muse - Invincible, Scorpions - Still lovin' you (Comment on this)
3:46 am	Yeesh Writing 12 pages in less than 4 hours, especially when they're well-researched, can be a bit of a hassle, however it serves extremely well to divert my mind from other things. And knowing I'm done makes me feel a nice sense of accomplishment. Current Music: Scorpions - Still lovin' you (3 Comments |Comment on this)